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Desperate for help. My boyfriend left me for someone he just met and I'm in such pain.

By: Rain

This is the request I made for having a spell cast when I signed up for the newsletter. After looking more over the site, it seemed like I'd have an improved chance of it coming true if I had all of the help I can get so, if I may ask, please take the time to read and understand it and please, if anyone can help me, please do. I'd be so grateful. Here is the request:

My boyfriend, Kevin, since May thirteenth of last year (a year and three months), recently left me for someone else he's only known a few weeks. She is married and they are carrying on with each other online. Obviously, her husband doesn't know.

The whole time I've known him, I have given so much to him and sacrificed so much. I tried to put him first every time, but he got too comfortable with it too quickly and he never really tried, himself. We were happy when everything was easy. Then, when problems started to arise, he closed off to me. He was never much of one for giving and he was always quick to run away and hide in something to distract himself with.

Things got so bad between us and I never wanted them to, but then this person came along and he found that same delusional giddiness with her that we had in the beginning. He is so out of touch with reality that he insists it will always be that way, but that's not how it works. It's certainly not how he works.

He is really a beautiful person, though, but he withdrew it from me more and more... resented and punished me for our problems, although I was willing to work on them and his answer was to hide. I did more for him than most people would, more than I've ever done for myself or anyone else. I did things I didn't know I was capable of because I could never seem to do much for myself. I could never seem to be moved. He made me want to, though. I poured all of the strength I had into him. I was a doormat and I guess I enabled him, also (I didn't say I was perfect).

I did everything for him, tried to solve his problems and do all of the dirty work so he could hide. I worried for him and I loved him and that was part of why I did it, but I also hoped... I guess I also hoped he'd see that I took him and us seriously and would give anything to make it work. It just made it easier for him to avoid and ignore, though, and he just became all the more quick to reproach me when we had problems or fought.

He wouldn't spend time with me, didn't want to talk, hear my feelings, or my needs... He just got angry, even if I tried to approach him in the most gentle way I could, and I think that's because he knew he wasn't treating me right and felt guilty and resented being reminded of it, even if I tried to talk to him carefully.

Now he's taken off for the next thing that came along. Their situation is no more ideal than ours. I know he is hiding a lot about himself, as he did with me in the beginning. I know he's lied to both of us, and she has acted sweet to me all of the while she was messing around with him. They've never met because she's married and because he's in a hole, nearly broke and can't even bring himself to get out of the house, but they have been planning to run away together all along, even while I suspected him, asked him about it and he denied it and lied. I found out for sure and we're no longer together and he's finally admitted to most of it.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for. I guess it's just an overall situation, one way or another. I want... I don't want him to hurt, but... I want her life to fall apart like mine has. I want him to see how she's no better for him than I am, I want her to know everything he said to me about her and did with me while he was secretly carrying on with her and pretending to be hers that she doesn't know about and for her husband to find out before she cleans him out and leaves him devastated. Her plans for leaving him are very subversive and methodical.

I want him to not want her at all anymore, to wake up and realize what folly it's been, that, as always, he's been building a make-believe world for himself to avoid reality. I want him to stop wanting her and realize how good I was to him and for him. I want him to come around, realize every bit of harsh reality he went out of his way to ignore and left me to bear the burden of. I want it to be impossible for him to pretend it away anymore. I want him to finally understand everything I did for him and suffered because of him, from the beginning 'til now.

I want him to get in touch with his compassion, which I haven't seen since the beginning, that he now gives to her. I want to see again that person he was then, all of the wonderful qualities I love and have longed for that he took away from me bit by bit. I want her to know the truth about everything, as well as her husband, and I want Kevin, who I waited for so long, to face the truth, too, about how much I really did show him I loved him and how much he withdrew from me and all of the realities he refused to look at.

I want him to come back, show me he loves me, never cheat on me again, really TRY this time, like he never did before... He never had to in the beginning. He was pleased with me as long as everything was easy. I would give him anything. I want him to wake up and understand it all now... God, I want him to WANT to really know me, like he never would before. I want him to appreciate me, be respectful and loving, nurturing and present, face things WITH me, together, work on them, and stop making excuses and empty promises and finally be with me, as he made me wait for over the past year and three months, kept saying would happen and never did.

I want him to be faithful, loyal, loving, giving, kind, compassionate, understanding, I want him to really listen, really want to know me, really wonder what I'm thinking and feeling, REGULARLY, not just if I'm down on my birthday and he thinks he's made a great effort to be nice to me on that one day... He really is a special and beautiful person. I know much of it is that he really doesn't like himself or his life... He can't stand the mistakes he's made, as he has told me on the rare occasions when he finally sees reality, he feels weak and pathetic and worthless for the state his life is in... I want him to come back to me, ask me for help, HELP me to help him instead of being resistant when I try to get him therapy for his addictions, try to help him find work...

I really became like his mother... and kids never appreciate their mothers when they do everything for them. It's too easy to take it for granted when you never have to take responsibility for yourself and someone does all of the thinking, worrying and work for you. They only resent them for pushing them to work for themselves. That's the role I adopted inadvertently, but I know I'm at fault, too, for being a doormat. I want that to change, too.

I want to have some self-respect. I want to truly demand what I deserve and not settle for less. I want to be respected and taken seriously and not ignored or dismissed. I want to not allow myself to be treated badly anymore and I want HIM to not treat me badly, but... I want him to be with me and only me forever, throughout this lifetime and any that follow. I don't just need him because he hurts me or because I get weaker every time. That does happen, but... there are amazing things about him that he took back, one by one, things I can't stand the idea of going through my whole life and never seeing again.

I got the inkling that things might not be going well with her all of a sudden. Just earlier, he told me "things are bad" and I got the feeling he was talking about things between him and her, but he wouldn't tell me anything else. He was very cryptic about it, but I really think he meant her, but maybe he won't tell me because he's starting to feel like an idiot and his pride is holding him back. He's starting to admit things, saying he lives in different realities and that they're starting to blend together, starting to sound remorseful and ashamed and like he's starting to realize things... but he's pretty vague about it. He just says he's realizing these things, but he doesn't say what caused that or what they pertain to. It sounds to me like things with her already may be on their way to coming apart and, even if I'm reading his mysterious little hints wrong, I know they don't have anything substantial and don't really know each other. There is a LOT she doesn't know about him that most people wouldn't want to live with and few people would help someone else through, such as his personality disorders, addiction problems, etc. I know... I'm sure they won't last, but I'm in such hell... and, even if it all falls apart between them, it could be some time down the line when it's too late for him and me to go back.

Anyway, I'm sorry to ramble. I wanted to include every detail, as you said, so that you could get the full grasp of the situation so you could know how best it could be handled, if it had any bearing on that. I swear, he really is a good and beautiful person. He's very precious. Even he doesn't know it, but I've always been good at understanding feelings and how people think and why they do what they do and, in most ways, I'm even better at it with him. I've come to observe him and understand and know him better than he does, himself. I don't want him to hide anymore and I want him to come to me.

I'm staying away right now because it's hard and it hurts, but coming to him doesn't help me at all. It just lets him know I'm still wrapped around his finger. No matter what, I'm a slave. I need it to stop.

Please, please, please, help me. Please, I don't know if it's a lot to ask. With all of the details involved, I'm afraid it kind of is. I just really don't have money and don't know where to look for help or how... I saw this and thought maybe it could be my miracle. I wouldn't let him down, if he would just face things and make them right with me. I want it to be good. I want it to be healthy. So far, neither of us have been.

Please, if you can... please help me. My name is Kathryn. His name is Kevin. His birthdate is March 17th, 1978 (St. Patrick's Day and his name is Irish, but his background is predominantly Italian). The girl he left me for... her name is Carolyn. Her birthdate is August 18th, 1980, I'm quite sure.Her husband's name, I am also pretty sure, is Mark. I don't know when he was born.

I can't help but want her to suffer. I'm past wanting him to... Although I guess it's best not to ask to hurt anyone. I just want the truth to be revealed. I want her to know the things that went on between him and me, the things he said to me about her and in denial of the situation... He told me they were just friends for so long. Finally, although he wouldn't admit they'd been messing around for weeks, he "conceded" that she might like HIM... and he called her unstable, messed up and a freak. She doesn't know the intimate things he and I said and did together while he carried on with her and acted so pure and loving to her while he kept it from me. I want her to know it all. I want her husband to know everything. I want Kevin to wake up and finally realize everything we had and what this has done and that, because they have no history, she is just a fantasy to him (he even called it that, himself, when he finally admitted some of it to me, while he was telling HER much different things, planning to be together with her, etc.)

Please, make it all right. Please make the truth be known to everyone. Please snap him out of it and bring him back. I had long stopped wanting things until I met him. He made me feel good about myself and made me like things about myself I didn't appreciate, made me want things I never thought I'd want, just simple, normal things, but I really no longer wanted anything from life at all, even that. It was his unique personality that complimented mine so well and now he's thrown it away. The moment anything went wrong, he shut down and wouldn't try. We were worth more than that. We deserved a better chance. I want to have that chance.

I'm sorry to go on so much. There is just so much to pour out, so many things to say, so much I'm unhappy about and I just want it to turn around. I'm sorry again for being so long-winded. Please help me. If there's anything I can do, please let me know. I would do anything to have him with me and for everything to be made right. I would give it everything I have. I wish he would. I wish he'd love me and long for me and think me as precious as I do him. Please help, please.

Otherwise... if it's impossible, please erase every feeling and memory of him from my mind completely, but that's not what I want, really.

Thank you. Sorry again for writing a novel. Thank you.