I just want some happiness

I have had a really bad childhood, i was physically abused from an early age. I met a guy when i was 19 and even though i didn't love him we got married just because i needed to get away from my awful home life. I was with him for 22 years, he never made me feel any better about myself. He kept telling me that i should stay with him because no one else would ever want me. Just over a year ago i got some confidence from somewhere and told him to leave. Not long after i met the real love of my life. He is everything i have ever wished for, he has made me feel alive again, he has released all the emotions i have kept inside me from being a little girl. I cry again now, i never did from the age of 6. I know he feels the same but he is married with children. He doens't love his wife but does love his children and wants to be around for them. I can't see my life without him but i can't carry on being number two in his life. I desperatly want to be happy, i feel i have suffered enough, why did i have to fall for someone i can't have.

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