return of a lost love

I have not had what we call a great life. I come from a very toxic, dysfunctional family full of abuse. All I ever wanted in my life was someone to love me, and yet all my relationships just seemed to be with men who cheated on me and/or beat me. That all changed when I met Matthew (birth year-1979). I had been praying for a soulmate- for a love that would be true. I invest so much of my self in others, I just wanted for once to have it returned. Almost on que, he showed up. We had met over a year earlier, but he hadn't even crossed my mind. I, on the other hand, had made a mark on him. He had never let me know his feelings or intentions, and the distance made that easy. However, this time things were different. For some reason, he wrote me the most beautiful love letter anyone has ever read. I was deeply touched and I wrote him back. This began an email courtship; we had the most amazing letters. Over a chat (google) one night, I surprised him by sending him the link to a confirmation for a plane ticket; I was coming to see him. When I got there he was standing there with a dozen roses and the biggest smile on his face- I will never forget it. He didn't kiss me or anything. He looked me in the eyes and ran his fingers right over my face and then hugged me. It was love- pure and true. As we were walking to the car, he said he had to make a detour. I didn't think much of it, thinking he needed gas, atm, etc. To my surprise though, he pulled off at the Biscayne Bay (Miami, FL USA). He walked around to the back of his car and pulled out a blanket, champagne, and strawberries. We sat there on the beach overlooking the lights of Miami (it was 2am). That was our first kiss. When we got back to his apartment, he had candles everywhere. It was the most romantic set up you have ever seen. We made the best love either of us had ever had. That weekend continued as a fairy tale. We had walks in the rain, romantic nights on the town, etc. All of his friends were in shock- we were the couple that you only read of. We were "perfect" for each other. We inspired others. We were what everyone dreams of having.
Things continued to be picture perfect for a few months with several other dream weekends together. Than one day in October it all changed. We were fine and the next day we weren't. I still do not know what switched in his head. It was as if a seed of doubt popped up out of no where. Instead of dismissing the doubt, it festered and rotted. We went from the dream, to he always wanted to change me, nothing I did was good enough, I was wrong, etc. I tried desperately to snap him out of this- to show him I am still the same person he fell in love with. It didn't work. He just kept putting up higher and higher walls. It was pure torture. I still love him with all my heart and my soul. I would give anything for him- anything. I meant it when I said I would marry him, and I have never said or felt that way about anyone. To watch the person you love- the only thing in life that matters to you- push you away day after day with no recourse, it breaks you. I have never been so hurt in all my life.
In April, he broke it off. He said we were a "broken masterpiece" that could never be fixed, a "round peg and square hole", etc. He told me I was the "love of his life, perfect, the one", but that he "couldn't be with me." The last 4 months have been the worst ever. He keeps calling me and telling me that he is thinking of me, that he was thinking of what it would be like to get back together, that I am the only one who understands him, etc to which my heart of course leaps at the possibility. It never works though. It is a sick little game. He calls and tells me this, and I jumped to help him with whatever is bothering him. Then at the end of the conversation he just "changes his mind" about us again and hangs up. I cry every single time. I cry almost everyday anyway, but these end in sobbing fits for me. He is torturing me. I cannot help that I love him so deeply, nor do I wish to stop. I wish he would love me as he did. Whatever it was that snapped in his head all those months ago, I want put back. I want the love of my life back. I want Matthew (1979) back. I want him to love me again. All the imagined faults and cracks that his mind produced (that are not real), I want him to forget. I want him to see only the good again. I want more than life itself to be back in his arms, to be his lover, to be his fiance. I beg all the universe to help me. He and I had a special link- I could read his mind from 1000 miles away sometimes. I would send him text messages on what he was looking at. It wasn't often, but it happened. We had a special connection. He disconnected himself from this now. I cannot reach him. The fact that I could shows that the universe smiled at our coming together once, and now I ask all who can to help set this right again. Please pray for me, with me, and about me for the return of my love. Please bring Matthew (1979) back to me. Return to me the love I have lost. Please I beg you- Help me. Bring Matthew back to me.

Article Source: http://www.spells4free.com

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